Well, it's been a while... GOOD news and somewhat less good news, and friends

Hi all. I'm sorry I've been such a crappy blogger for so long! Frankly, it has all been because of low morale - I can say so now, because my morale has just taken a leap up - although shakily, despite the excellent news. I have had my control scan results and ALL CLEAR. Yay! I say morale is up shakily - well, it's been a tough few months and actually getting the results (that I've been refusing to be worried about, yeah right) is almost a shock - taking a while to sink in. Lionel has been so stressed, he almost had a funny turn. Perhaps we will stop arguing all the time now???? Well, wish us luck on that one!

The somewhat less good news is that I was hospitalised as an urgency last Thursday, because I did have a funny turn when I was at the physio's; I'd been gradually having more and more pain in my left neck/shoulder area, and I didn't want to moan about it - I thought it was just returning old neck/back probs - and I thought it was also that I'd just started my speech-therapy exercises again, with gusto, and had over done it. But since it was actually swelling up, next to my port-a-cath (the thing they bung the needles in instead of having to make holes in your arms all the time), all was obviously not happy. The pain by Thursday was actually quite unbearable - paracetamol worked but not for long enough. Turns out I have a thrombosis in the inner left jugular and the brachiochephalic vein - I think this means the clot is at the joining point, rather than that I have 2 clots.

I will say - over and above the really bad pain, tears and nurses having to pat my hand etc. - that this news really shot my moral to pieces. It's just bad luck, of course, a secondary effect due to the foreign body (port-a-cath), but I was aiming to get back to work part-time this month, starting to feel fairly normal, more energy etc. This just made it all plummet; and I am signed off work for another month. The good news today has perked me up again, but I'm very worried about work now - their patience I think has worn thin, my usefulness and how long they are willing to hang on to create the new setup within which I was to have a new, better, more interesting position, all are up in the air. Of course, I will have a job to go back to - they can't legally not keep my place open - but my 'career' is probably deeply scuppered.  Should I care so much about that? Well, if I were someone who was of the ilk to be self-employed and to create their own lifestyle and income etc., no - but I'm an inveterate employee, apparently, and I'm 50, and having had a serious illness, I'm considerably concerned to ensure a good pension etc etc - so hell, yes, I'm worried! I do NOT want to carry on earning half what I should be, and bored bored bored.

Over and above all the health stuff - April was a busy month! Rachel came to stay and we had a great time - did lots of gardening (of the 'hack it down and burn it' sort), which was wonderful (and I am sooooooo grateful to her!); and took her to see the sights at St Guillème le Desert and of course Montp itself. She had a great time too (well, she SAID she did anyway) and was really really lovely, cooking and helping in all sorts of ways no guest should have to, but with me getting knackered, I was incredibly grateful for. The nice thing about the friendship with Rachel (who I've known since I was 9 or 10) is that we don't spend our time reminiscing, even though we only see each other every few years; we just get on with life now, and gossip like hell. Hi Rach!

On the day Rachel left, we flew to Marrakesh, which was our 'it's all getting better' present. We were supposed to be there for a week, but our stay got unintentionally extended by the dreaded volcanic cloud - and our purses were emptied considerably more than we had expected! We were very lucky, on flying out, to meet a colleague of Lionel's at the airport, who was a native of Marrakesh, going back to visit his family. He took us around the town, the souk, the medina - what a maze!!!! - and we were very lucky indeed to have a local who was genuinely showing us round out of friendship and not for money. On one day, his eldest brother drove us all to Esouira, a seaside town, where we saw real sea, none of that calm blue Mediterranean lark - SERIOUS grey-green big waves stuff! It made me feel extremely invigorated. He also got us very, very good prices on buying the throws I wanted, and some lovely shirts for L. This was a 3 hour drive each way, of course we paid the petrol and bought lunch, but it was SO sweet of his brother! Who is apparently a lieutenant colonel in the army, so probably a Good Person to have as a friend over there.

Also, Catherine, the cousin of my oldest friend Michael (I should say, longest standing friend...), lives in Marrakesh - and I've known her for years, too, although never close, I am considered part of the family; she even said I have the air of an Ackroyd! I was terribly chuffed. So we had dinner with her 2 or 3 times.

Then, having managed to get back via Paris (still had to go to Marseille to pick the car up from the airport and drive back to Montp), a few days later Spencer came to stay, which was a wonderful pleasure! Unfortunately, by this time I was really starting to suffer with the thrombosis - in fact, we picked Spence up from the airport on Wednesday late afternoon, I had my funny turn on Thursday morning and was in hospital for the afternoon. Or did he appear on Tuesday? I'm not quite sure on the timings - anyway, because Spence is highly resourceful, he decided to buy a bike and cycle round nice things to see. Isabelle, Lionel's amazing ex-wife, took him to buy the bike, whilst taking me to hospital - yes it's all coming back - and went home to get him a back pack, make him a packed lunch, several maps, then she drove him into a nice village in the country side and let him get on with it. He apparently thoroughly enjoyed himself, thank heavens. He managed to come and see me in the evening, and the next morning, then he had to go home! Not QUITE the chatty visit we had intended, but really, he is a delight. Hi Spence!

Anyone else who wants to come visit a poor bored convalescent, May is a good month to do it.