Such progress!

The visit to the nutrition dept at the hospital was really useful. Lots of tips and ideas for beefing food up whilst still being able to eat it - got a prescription for high protein drinks/desserts and some protein powder, that has no taste (so they say...) - so can add it to soup or purée or whatever; also to use full fat milk, and add fromage frais or cream to soups etc., and cubes of ham etc. And eggs - they are really useful of course! Also signed up to a phase 3 product experiment - not product exactly - food supplements that are believed to assist in protecting the mouth/gums during radio therapy and prevent the sores etc. As a test subject, of course I don't know if I get the product or the placebo, but I'm happy to take part.

Anyway - I also decided to start using the mouthwash the dentist had given me, instead of the normal chemist-available stuff, and use a softer toothbrush, because I've been starting to get sore gums - this is purely because they are softening up from lack of use. I do not want to start the zapping with gums already sore! It may be co-incidence, but I have suddenly made some great strides forward on the eating front.

Yesterday morning when I woke up I drank some water and realised I could swallow almost normally - let's say 90% normally. We had to do the normal domestic stuff and went shopping (we also have to shop for Lionel's sister), then had to go into town to pick up L's dry cleaning, I was getting really exhausted and had had a crying spat after the supermarket - sheer tiredness - partly because I hadn't yet eaten all day. I don't do breakfast (hot choc) and we'd gone out at lunch time; so we went to a Flunch, and I managed half a portion of poached salmon, a spoonful of ratatouille to wash it down, and a bit of spinach; plus a tiny fresh goat's cheese with just the soft bit of the bread; and a tiny bit of dessert. I couldn't manage any more, it was really hurting my neck, but I was very pleased with myself.  Still only chewing on the left, though. In the evening I had Savoyard soup (potato and cheese) with extra cream in.

This morning, I realised that the last stitch in my mouth has gone - right back near my lower right wisdom tooth - and that that area of my mouth (which has been the most sensitive up to now) was getting much better; so I decided to attempt a bit of chewing on that side. Well, maybe 'chewing' is an exaggeration, it was after all only mashed banana in yoghurt - but just dealing with food on the right hand side of my mouth was a big step forward, and actually really scarey; because of course my tongue is partially numb, I can't really feel what's going on, and so guiding food correctly is difficult. Anyway - I'm sorry I go into so much detail about this stuff which is probably a) totally disgusting and b) completely boring - but it does me good, and I AM proud of myself. Because, having managed the banana yoghurt ok, this afternoon I ate 2 (small) slices of bread, one with Boursin one with honey (and both with butter) - and I chewed some of the non-crusty bits on the right hand side. That is SO good!

I have to keep a close eye on my enthusiasm - my weight is stable, at 67.4kg. So I remain 4kg down on my original over-weightness; but however enthusiastic I may feel about my ability to eat improving, I'm not exactly eating a normal quantity - small amounts seem so huge! So well, I will have to be good and keep up the supplements and the goo, although I'm not gooing every day.

AND today I took a shower - with Lionel's help, I couldn't manage on my own, since I can't get my left forearm wet at all; I didn't mind getting the tummy or the throat dressings wet, both of them will be open to the air soon, and the nurse was due soon. It felt so GOOD - unless you havn't been able to shower but only to wash standing up with minimal moisture for several weeks, you really can't appreciate how wonderful it feels... just to have the water flowing over you.

I'm so happy!