Dear Nils have answered your comment in the comments... :) and did I ever say thank you for the looooooverly handbag jewellery? it adorns my handbag, as it should!
So, having had a very bad weekend whimpering and crying, saw the doctor today and he said 'oh dear me yes you have a very bad mucosite here have this prescription for morphine patches, try one if it's not strong enough use two, and add this xylocaine to your mouthwash, it'll numb it'. Everyone was very surprised at my sudden nose dive, because they have all been really pleased at how upbeat and punchy I'd been till now; but nose dive it was. I'm relying on my hair growing back curly and an interesting colour.
At the moment I'm actually on paracetamol+ codeine mix, which I find makes my mind go very peculiar but the pain is much less, I no longer feel the need to burst into tears every 5 minutes, which is really nice. But since I'm likely to be totally out of it once I start the morphine, I thought I'd give you a quick update. Also chemo has been postponed till Thursday, bed problem (they had forgotten to put me in the schedule...); this probably messes up the experimental protocol I'm following but at least the drinks (placebo or not) are good in my present state, they sort of coat everything and make it easier to swallow. I officially gave up food on Friday, but seem to be gooing strong :)
The other thing I do at the moment is sleep.
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Hiya sweetie,
ReplyDeleteReally sorry to hear that you are having such a shit time. Drugs and sleep sound the way to go while you get through this bit. What nasty side effects. What is a mucosite?
Do appreciate your candour and honesty in your blog, you are one brave lady.
Lots of hugs and love
Rachel
Hiiiiiiiiiiii Rach! I was missing your comments - I managed not to send you 2 text messages on Thursday, one to your home phone (it didn't reject it, but would you know how to get an SMS on your home phone??), one to your mobile but without the correct code from here, and then I lost the will to type it all again and probably either got side tracked or fell asleep :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I'm not brave enough - what about all the good old British 'mustn't grumble', eh? I think I grumble loads here. But to hell with the stiff upper lip and false brightness - I like just letting it all flow out of me, it generally has some sort of humour to it except when I'm really angry (and even then...).
Thanks for being there, hugs and hope your life is going ok, please feel free to drop me a mail/text anytime!
Hi,
ReplyDeleteNo sms came on the home phone. Sometimes they do as some kind of robotic voice!
Did you get the 2 recent (ish) emails from me mostly about the parlous state of my love life? Do I have the right address?
Hey, grumbling and moaning is fine, you have plenty of reason to and it is real. Writing it down helps to process it all also it is poignant and sometimes funny. It would be a shame to sanitise it to try to protect our delicate sensibilities. We can cope and want to help you do so too.
Lots of love
R