Sorry for the last bad tempered post! (mind you this has a good old moan too...)

As far as new year's eve goes, I woke up before midnight, L had a champagne glass of bubbly, and I had a champagne glass of water. We toasted the new year perfectly amicably.


The chemist - in fact, the village - wasn't open on Saturday, so I never got my extra pills. I had some less strong anti-nausea tablets and took them, but felt sick most of the time till this morning. Now, I've started eating again; not as well as I was eating before, because the zapping is affecting my tongue and swallowing - already getting a reduction in saliva. I will have to start walking around looking like a 90's pop star, with my little bottle of water!

To finish talking about stress, and really getting it all out of my system - because, yes, that is what I'm doing here, of course! -


Well, Lionel hasn't burst into song, but yes Nils is totally right, the strain is also getting to him; add his 20 year old being a serious 20 year old pillock (his mother threw him out just before Christmas, because he was being so poisonous to her and her partner - he's moved back here, of course. He is always perfectly nice to us, although booooooring); and the fact that he (L) started an online Masters just before I was diagnosed, which is being much more work than he expected, and of course he's finding concentrating difficult; and of course his work is stressful; and he keeps it all in because He's A Bloke, so I appreciate the pressure he is under, and I try to make allowances and support him...

BUT (get ready for the moan)

Yes, L does all the washing and hanging out - he did 99% of it before; and 90% of the cooking - he did more than 50% before; he doesn't do housework, so at the moment it just isn't being done unless I sweep vaguely - we are meant to be getting some help again, it had better be soon! we still do the shopping together, including shopping for his ill sister and delivering it to her (I drive and L doesn't); so really, nothing much has changed for him, in his life habits (except for his Master, and he's not working much at it - for which I don't blame him) but I just mean, since I manage and organise all my health stuff, and walk down into the village for my meds etc. normally, and so on and so forth...

Well, there is prioritisation, and I still consider that supporting me (like making sure I have the right medicine when I come back from chemo, or otherwise doing the thinking and acting for me at moments when I can't, which aren't that often) is numero uno: call me an egotistical bitch, but he can help his son find a job tomorrow. 

Well, he's being more gentle, these last few days, so he probably feels guilty.

But we're fine, we're fine, with him being gentle I respond and relax quickly; so no arguments going on. I will just make sure it is organised in advance next time.  As long as I know about stuff in advance, I can manage it and organise it. Total end of moan.

Boy that feels better.